An interview with Myself.
Hi Amy. I’ve never interviewed you before. This is kind of weird.
It is kind of weird, but get on with it.
Okay Bossypants, I love that family picture! Do you live by the ocean?
I just pretend we do. Especially when it’s -9 degrees outside in New Hampshire. I live in the country with four delicious children. Their dad brought me here and is also delicious.
Delicious? Um, isn’t that TMI? Let’s talk about your neighbors.
Our neighbors are show donkeys and water buffalo. Welcome to the neighborhood!
Thanks, Amy. Your neighborhood sounds…odd. So, what do you do all day?
Like most women, I wear many hats! I consider my work as “mother” the most important work I’ll ever do. I teach Anatomy & Physiology at our local Hogwarts and write novels – which is perfect since I prefer not to ever leave the house. If you’ve got time I could tell you about my latest manuscript.
We don’t have time.
Do you see your children at school?
Yes! But when I call out, “Hey Girlfriend!” across campus they never seem to see me.
I wonder why. Tell me about the man you live with.
I am married to the real Mr. Darcy: stern and glowering on the outside, but behind the scenes oozing with love, lofty ideals, and good works. He just so happens to also look like the Colin Firth version.
Okay, that’s enough. Do you have a favorite child?
We adore them all but still deciding which one to love best. One comes with duct tape, one sings opera, another sleeps in a teepee, and one writes me daily love notes. See? It’s really hard to decide.
Totally get it. Hey, do you like running?
Oh, yes. I love talking pacing and the perfect energy smoothie. I also love to write about my shoes and feet and new goals. Aren’t you glad?
Maisy was my mother’s nickname for me growing up. She called me “Maisy mouse” because I was small, quiet, and ran fast like a little mouse. I like the way it sounds with Mak. Maisymak. That’s all.
Are you a Mormon?
Yes. It’s the best.
Are you a plural wife?
Seriously? I think you need to work on your interviewing skills.
I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just nosy.
I know, I’m you, remember? Thanks for the interview.