All a Mother Needs: Remember Me

Every Mother’s Day, following the tradition of my own mother, we take a photo. This year we looked particularly photogenic. FullSizeRenderThis picture makes me laugh and pretty much sums up Mother’s Day: We tried.

Let’s walk down memory lane, shall we? And enjoy the Mother’s Days passed.

mothersday1 2014. Better?

mothersday2 2012. The lighting was really…uh, terrific. There’s a child missing and a child bawling. And her mother’s laughing at her. How mean am I? Anyway, this picture is a favorite. Little B was so sad because we took separate cars to church and she couldn’t go with me. Oh, when I was so adored! Btw, Cope is wearing my green cardigan and that white one has mysteriously gone missing from my closet. They claim innocence.

mothersday3

2011. I remember I hated my hair. I also wore running shoes to church due to plantar fasciitis. It was a lovely look. My Copey is wearing my old skirt. Brynne is wearing Cope’s baptism dress. They look so little…and so grown up!

mothersday2011 2010. Pre-braces. We liked the couch on this Mother’s Day. So many glorious naps on the red couch. I miss the couch. This was a fun age, when every time I entered the house, the children squealed with delight and Paige cried because she missed me every second.

mothersday2010 2009. Bonus points – Tenny boy was in the picture on Mother’s Day! I mean, he’s basically another child. We really liked the red couch.

mothersday20092008. Our new house. Cope is wearing the dress Brynne is wearing in 2011. And now Paige wears it. Paige says, “You look so young, mom.” Yeah.

I became a mom in 1999, but I wasn’t doing digital prints then. Be assured, there are pictures. I love those pictures. What may have once seemed “imperfect,” is a treasure.

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Here’s my own mother, so many years ago when she basically had triplets. She would say, “look at my ratty hair,” but I adore it. I adore her familiar smile. And the way my father’s elbow rests on hers. We are wearing homemade matching dresses with matching home haircuts. I particularly like my twin’s homemade plaid pants.

Ah, Mother’s Day. I’d like to tip-toe into the subject and then I shall tip-toe right back out. I wish Mother’s Day was happier for more women. I wish we wouldn’t set ourselves up to be so disappointed. Too often, idealism robs rather than motivates. It’s mythical. Children (and spouses) need positive reinforcement; that’s motivating.

Are we setting the bar a bit too high? It’s as if our imperfect family will suddenly be our “ideal” and when those impossible expectations aren’t met, we’re crushed.

Like when Gregor threw up that one year. It was like he was throwing up at me.

I took the barf very personally.

This past Mother’s Day I decided I would not be disappointed by anything. Not even if my husband had to work all weekend (he did) or if the cherubs were crabby (never!)

I decided to appreciate the fact that I have a pretty awesome life. I have a mother here and a mother there. We GET to be mothers. So really, we may as well enjoy it. Every effort, no matter how small or imperfect is a sign that we are remembered, even if we have to ask someone to make dinner, set the table, and make a card (yes, I voice my needs 🙂

When I called my mom and visited my mother-in-law on Mother’s Day they were so grateful, so appreciative. “Thank you for remembering,” they said. I understand this. Mothers don’t need a lot on Mother’s Day, but we need a pause. We need to be remembered. Jewelry is just a bonus 🙂

I heard quite a few sentiments on Mother’s Day that ranged from, “It was a terrible day. My children were wretched. I feel like such a terrible mother” to “Just another day in paradise.” I like this one. Motherhood is much more enjoyable if we bring a sense of humor with us.

So when we’re given a dandelion bouquet, the imperfect drawing that makes us look like a herd of elephants and brought burnt toast for breakfast, say thank you. Don’t forget: Someone remembered you.

It’s the thought that counts.

Unless they’re throwing the burnt toast at you.

Mother’s Day was not created for mothers to feel more guilt. It’s just a day to be remembered. Which you are. Which I do. I’m sending you my wishes and kisses. I adore you women, each and every one.

xo.

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5 thoughts on “All a Mother Needs: Remember Me

  1. 4amWriter

    What sweet memories. I love your timeline of Mother’s Day, and seeing the differences (and similarities!) from one year to the next. Hmm, Tenny Boy? Where have I read about a dog with that name? 😉

    I spent my day in the garden, even though it was 85 degrees, loving every minute of nurturing my plants and trees. I played catch with the fam. The kids and hubs made me my most favorite breakfast ever: bacon, fruit salad, blueberry pancakes with REAL maple syrup. We had dinner with my in-laws. The night before I went over to my mother’s house and celebrated with her because my brother and his wife were visiting from the Cape. It was a wonderful weekend.

    I’m blessed to be a mom. Most days I’m overwhelmed and dubious about my abilities to do right by them, but I am really lucky to have the chance.

    Reply
  2. Dana

    So fun to see all the photos from years past…you haven’t changed a bit! You are right…Mother’s Day is a day to be remembered. Putting too much importance on the day sets me up for disappointment, so this year I just enjoyed my family and the fact that I didn’t have to cook dinner. Perfect.

    Reply
  3. Rosebriars

    Love the picture tradition! I’m blessed to have a fabulous and fabulously imperfect mom and kids, so when I saw a post about spending the day celebrating having a mom & being a mom I jumped right on board. I spent Mother’s Day trying to really be present in my messy, fun, imperfect life.

    Reply
  4. Julia Tomiak

    One of my favorite quotes from One Thousand Gifts is, “Expextations ruin relationships.” So, I didn’t have any, except to enjoy the day. I enjoyed breakfast in bed- and it was delicious. It’s nice that my kids are getting old enough to cook- and well.
    Great points, and pictures, once again Amy.
    You should rerun this post next year BEFORE Mother’s Day. 😉

    Reply

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