The First Day

The first day of school deserves a post, right?

     

Miles Run:  4
Query rejections this week:  3

First day of school.  First day since March I had to wear a headlamp for the early morning run.  Drat.  Was this a foreshadowing of things to come?  A small light in the darkness?  As usual, I didn't want to get up.  That part is not exactly easier, just more of a habit.  And as always, the run was fabulous and the sun came up.  Before I ran I took my special elixir (I'm not sure I should promote my latest experiment...:) a bite of banana, ran with the buddy up the hill (still hard!) and came home to a shower and a rousing of the children.  Everyone was excited to start a new year.

I love new years.  I love new starts.  I love my new camera..yee haw!

This is the first and last year my kiddies will all go to the same school.  I love our little school; small but mighty!

We were a tad bit late...the kids made a screaming run for it.  Gregor looks grumpy because...he always looks grumpy (happy face :) because Brynne usually holds his hand when they walk in together.  I drove all the way to school so I could get a picture of them running away from me.  See ya!  Bye!  Have a good day...

And then Paige and I drove home in the little car and Gregor took the mini-van.  Yes, times are changing.  It's a strange new world out there.

Some years are easier to start then others.  This year there were mixed feelings.  I cried.  Much.  Because I don't let go very well and my baby was going to kindergarten.  Another parting with one of my beloveds.

Her sisters fought over who would do her hair.  Cope convinced her somehow, probably bribing her with something I don't want to know about.  She also told Paige she would look like "Katniss." At home Paige made a sandwich to take in her new princess lunchbox.  You gotta train 'em early.

This is Brynne's new lunchbox:  The Goodbyn.  No baggies.  See?  I'm environmentally conscious!  Food doesn't leak in-between different compartments.  She doesn't like it as much as I do.

I'm not ashamed to say it - I'm thankful kindergarten is only half-day. My death grip requires a very slow loosening.  

Yes, my babe was ready to go to school, but a full day would have been a big shock.  Um. Yes.  Mostly for me.  We kept looking at the clock...was it time to leave yet?  The first day I drove her in.  We had funny conversations in the car.

Me:  Do you think anyone will cry b/c they're scared and miss their mom or dad?

P:  Mmmm…

Me:  What will you do?

P:  I'll be nice to them and say don't cry

Me:  Oh, that's nice.

P:  Uh! (using her teenage voice) What do you think I'd do?  Just stand there and watch them CRY?!

Sigh...

P: I'm so excited!  I've been waiting for this day all my life!

Me:  Yes.  It's going to be so fun! (sniff sniff)

P:  When I'm big I'm going to be a doctor, a fairy, and a bird.  Why don't you want to be those things?

Me: Actually, I want to be a doctor, a fairy, and a bird too.

She nodded, satisfied we were on the same path in life.

Me and her, we've been quite attached.

But then it was time to let go of the hand.  And since I had cried it all out the night before, I didn't have any sort of public breakdown.  She looked up at me when her teacher called her to stand in line.  And I had to do what moms have to do, look down and smile.  Say, I love you...have a great day!  She wrapped her arms around my legs, looked up once more, and then she let go.

Little Katniss looks so small.  But I know her heart.  Small but mighty.  Rockin' her new shoes.

The second day she got on the bus.  The big, big bus!  I kept calling her name and waving, but she didn't see me.  And this was oddly upsetting.  The bus pulled away and I walked down the street crying.  If you see me, walking down the street.  Crying. Please ignore me.  I'm a little emotionally unstable.

I'm the dog on the floor.  Bereft.  He wouldn't leave my side all day.  I mean, Paige was gone!

On Sunday, the talk in church was on adversity.  As in, "there is opposition in all things...to taste the bitter is needed to taste the sweet...for every storm cloud, there is always a silver lining…what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...thine adversity shall be but a small moment..."

Do you believe this is true?

Do hard things make us better in the long run?

Gabby Douglas turned the trial of being separated for her family for two years into a Gold Medal?

Michael Phelps turned his rivalry with Lochte into Gold.  For it wasn't until he was out of shape and lost to Lochte, his minted and unrivaled butterfly race, a couple of years ago that he actually became hungry again.  He was the one.   

I take good-byes too hard.  But that just means I love you sooooo much.  And is it not a strange feeling when my husband is driving the mini-van and I am driving the littler car?  I'm the one who is supposed to drive the big boat!

Odd when, after 13 years, there is no baby in the house, there is no baby napping or crying.  No nursing.  Not potty-training anyone.  There are no playdates scheduled.  I'm not trying to catnap every second (tempting) to catch up on missed night-time sleep.

That's what I do, it's what I live for (I quote Little Mermaid!).

This is the last one.  The surprise girl twins did not arrive.  And since two days have gone by, there is also more perspective.  It's going to be alright.  Of course it will.

There is a feeling hovering.  It's not quite exuberance, not excitement quite yet.  It is like my headlamp shining on black pavement on the early run.  It's like that first day of college, when the rest of your life is right before you and everyone keeps asking, "What are you going to do with your life?"  Why, the thought occurred...I can be anything!

The feeling is hovering, getting closer.  The house is quiet and I am writing away.  There are good things to come.  All is not lost.  My sweets will return to me day after day, and always.

I'll still be me.  This little adversity makes me one lucky, lucky mother with "blissful obligations" and a tweaked job description.

Chapters end.  New books begins.
A doctor, a fairy, a bird.
Who knows?